My dear friends my wife and I are going to Barcelona, but something happened. Here's the full report: 

We have three flights in, three out.  The three in are:

Huntsville --> Memphis

Memphis --> Amsterdam

Amsterdam --> Barcelona.

We were supposed to arrive in Barcelona an hour before Leah's mom gets in on her flight; we've been worrying a little about not finding her.  That worry is called foreshadowing.

 

HSV-MEM flight is perfectly fine, not late in the slightest.  We went to Backyard Burgers.  Leah bought one of those wraparound pillow things.  Just fine.  Our flight to Amsterdam takes off.  Things divert from the normal.

 

When we take off, the flight attendant tells us that the plane does not have the October movies, so we'll be seeing the old crop.  However, by the time we landed, no movies had been shown.  We were in the air for about six hours of our ten hour flight.  At hour four, right in the middle of the in-flight meal, the captain told us we were having engine trouble.  Engine trouble is never a good thing.  Added to that, the meals stopped immediately, so 2/3 of the plane was left unfed.  They told us that we would be landing in Detroit and catching the next available plane. Two uneventful, hungry hours later, and after an incredibly wavering and bumpy landing, we landed in Minneapolis. The change was ostensibly because there was a spare plane and crew there that we could just shunt over to.  We were told to expect a delay of five hours in final arrival time "at best".  Leah of course starts thinking of her mom wandering the Barcelona airport confused and lonely.

 

When we arrive in Minneapolis, we get off the plane after thirty minutes (yes, thirty minutes) and are told that customer service would be waiting for us in the terminal.  Which is where things went bad. First, we stood in line for ten minutes trying to find when the available flight to Barcelona would land. Leah bought an extremely overpriced phone card from a machine and called her dad; she got the machine: it was 11:30 pm. As the line shrunk and we were second to the front, customer service told us that that line could no longer help us, and we had to go to the back of the line at the next adjacent gate.  We complained, but with no results.  We changed lines.

 

We met a couple ahead of us, and a woman ahead of them, who were going to Barcelona. The woman was meeting her mother, like us, and the couple was flying to their cruise.  They were missing their first port, of course.  After we nearly got to the front of the line, a middle-authority person came on the loudspeaker (~12:00 am) and told us we would A) be delayed until 4:30 pm Saturday, B) Would receive meal vouchers, but C) Would, if we weren't business class, have to stay on mats upstairs instead of in hotels because "there aren't any more hotels available in Minneapolis".  We were given no option to take another flight, because, as they told us, we were an international flight and there were special problems with that.  Our luggage, we were told, was under lock and key until the flight left at 4:30. And of course, meal vouchers were to be used in the airport, where no restaurants were still open. Then, as expected by all who know both crowds and their dealings with evil bureaucracies,  all hell broke loose.

 

Men started yelling.  Women started yelling.  People started yelling their complaints and questions over the people just raging, but then everyone started raging.  Leah and I were at the front of the line, and I wanted to get away from the coming press of the mob, but Leah was hungry and wanted first pick at the meal vouchers, so we stayed at the front. After people's yelling got to a certain fever pitch, an airport cop came. She had no idea how to deal with a crowd. She told us to "get back from the podium!" and that "the next person who yells is going to spend a night in jail!" After the space of one beat, every single person who had previously yelled, as well as about half again as many, yelled at the top of their lungs. More cops were called. 

 

I thought, pragmatically, given the option of (no food)+(no bed), the opportunity to have (food)+(bed)+(righteous indignation and persecution) was an obvious choice.  Luckily the next two cops realized that even though the three of them had pistols and badges, three hundred angry passengers-- even the little old men and women were getting quite loud at this point--were more than a match; the mob rule is that a mob rules, unless they are pacified.  The two new cops explained kindly but directly that they were not part of the airline, and could not help us, but had to keep order.  The advent of someone telling us that they were not their to help us was kind of nice, because it was the truth for once.  Then someone from the airline with real authority arrived and promised us periodic, five minute updates.  The crowd began to calm down, and by the time we saw 2 am, Leah and I had a voucher for the Mariott. Some people stayed in the Hilton. But everybody had a bed in a hotel, as well as meal vouchers for $20 per person, wherever.  Of course, this was after an old woman who spoke nothing but Greek had a medical emergency (our guess is stress-related) and quite a few people complained about needing medication in their luggage.  I still don't know how that was resolved, if it was.

 

It is 10:00 now.  We're leaving for the airport at 12:30.  We got a room with a jacuzzi and a king-sized bed because it was the only one left. We have had showers and hot breakfasts.  We have been through an ordeal and a fiasco, but we have survived.  Leah called her dad and he said that her mom would call him, so he could let her know what was up.  She should be landing in Barcelona any minute now.

 

Wish us luck.  Leah had an extra day built into the schedule, thank goodness.  Our next reservation is in Florence on Wednesday.

 

p.s.  I just realized we completely didn't take pictures of the mob.  That was a mistake in retrospect, but might have been more difficult in practicality.  A dutch guy was filming the whole time, though.

 

p.p.s.  Oh yeah, and there were several very unhappy children along with the screaming adults.  Just to make things more perfect.